


i want a boyfriend

by hoelistic



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe - I want A Boyfriend Twitter, Alternate Universe - Spider-Man Fusion, Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mark Lee (NCT) as Spider-Man, Mark Lee (NCT)-centric, Mentioned Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, day 2: surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:48:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28168005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoelistic/pseuds/hoelistic
Summary: I Want A Boyfriend RT Bot retweeted.Spider-Man@spiderd0rk · 2hI want a boyfriendMark’s sad origin story starts here.orThe Spider-Man au where Mark tries to get a boyfriend, Taeyong is tired, and the I Want Boyfriend RT bot is nowhere to be seen.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 26
Kudos: 311
Collections: Markhyuck Week 2021





	i want a boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a Spider-Man into the Zoomverse fic but I had I Want a Boyfriend Twitter AU...so i decided to combine them both. Another fun fact: this was supposed to be my submission for ALW had super heroes won that round .

_I Want A Boyfriend RT Bot retweeted._

**Spider-Man** @spiderd0rk · 2h

I want a boyfriend

Mark’s sad origin story starts here.

Single.

S-I-N-G-L-E.

Mark’s least favorite word on earth. 

In actuality, his least favorite word on earth is dale. But the word single comes on his list as a close second.

“Why do you hate the word ‘dale’ so much,” Mark hears his English professor ask him. “This is exactly the type of language you should utilize for your academic research papers instead of ‘valley.’ Dale represents the…”

Mark’s been in this introductory English lecture for what feels like an eternity — or perhaps only 15 minutes? But who cares? In the end, it’s all just semantics. He regrets enrolling in this lecture instead of underwater basket weaving like Chenle did. And does anyone even know what dale means besides spelling bee champions?

Regardless of whether or not Mark’s English professor is a classist asshole, the point here is: one is inclined to believe that being a superhero with the huge Marvel brand name of Spider-Man would be considered extremely attractive on the dating market, but Mark doesn’t find that to be the case. 

Not at all.

Everyone around Mark seems to find their other half and he’s jealous — extremely envious of everyone else having a boyfriend but him. 

Even the Green Goblin recorded a Twitter live about his date at Olive Garden with a cute exchange student from China while Mark was out spending all of his weekends saving kittens all around New York City.

Imagine: Spider-Man having struggles getting a boyfriend. 

Yep. 

You read that right. He’s as single as the moment he came down on earth.

But it is what it is, and Mark does his best with what little luck comes his way — or the lies he keeps telling himself. Getting bit by a radioactive spider during a trip to a science museum certainly wasn’t lucky. That’s for sure.

“Mark, he chastises himself. “Stop having a pity party. You know that you have to do your job, even if it’s just saving the cat lady next door’s cats. On the bright side, you aren’t stuck in your bedroom again eating Ben and Jerry’s to another episode of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.”

And Mark keeps whining about wanting a boyfriend to all of his superhero co-workers — to the point that Taeyong (or Iron Man like he preferred [according to Johnny, it was to present himself as a more serious role model to Mark; the whole with great power comes with great responsibility was something Taeyong tried to embody to the best of his ability]) shoves a phone in his hand.

“Do you have a Twitter account?” Taeyong asks and Mark looks up at him, shaking his head no.

“Not even a local account?”

“No. All I have is KakaoTalk and you and I both know my Korean isn’t good enough to make any friends there,” he replies, not entirely sure where Taeyong’s going with his interrogation. Hopefully not firing him from this pseudo-job because Mark doesn’t think he’ll have any job offers lined up with his abysmal GPA and his only actual skill is jumping fences and shooting webs from his hands.

“God, do I have to do everything myself?” Taeyong mumbles under his breath, taking back the phone and logging onto Twitter. A couple of minutes later, Taeyong smiles and hands Mark back the phone. “Here. Can you stop whining and finally get yourself a boyfriend?”

“But the account looks so cla—”

“ _Silence_.”

In the end, Mark texts Taeyong a small thank you for making him a Twitter account.

Because his aunt Boa taught Mark that he should always be thankful to people who do him favors without asking anything in return.

But his aunt Boa doesn’t give Mark this piece of advice because she’s someone who holds politeness as an ideal that must be upheld. His aunt Boa doesn’t even care about eating with her mouth open when Mark comes back home for the holidays and stuff themselves full with fried chicken (turkey was too dry for her tastes.)

Rather yet, Mark’s aunt Boa is a firm believer in what comes around goes around and doesn’t want Mark to bring any bad karma back on her doorstep.

1.

Later that night underneath his soft burrito blanket, Mark turns on his phone and scrolls through the Twitter account Taeyong created for him earlier that day.

It’s just a picture of Mark in his old superhero suit Taeyong found online, the header reading: with great power comes great responsibility. Obviously, His display name is Spider-Man and his bio reads Your local Spidey. A third-year chemistry major at NYU. 

Great not only does Mark have the most clapped layout on local Twitter, now everyone knows his age and major too. Excellent. Life couldn’t get worse than this. Now Mark’s going to have people guess his identity even more now and dm him about needing help with their organic chemistry homework — as if Mark was passing the course himself.

 _What if I’m considered too old?_ Mark thinks. Isn’t everyone 13 on the site? 

Mark’s increasingly grown conscious of the fact that there are times where his back hurts as if he were 65 instead of 21. But this back pain can be attributed to a list of very obvious reasons: 

  1. Mark spends almost all of his spare time-saving New York City from whatever mess Green Goblin –a.k.a. trust fund baby Lucas Wong – created on Mondays to Fridays (they made a blood pact that Saturdays and Sundays would be their days off.)
  2. Extensively studying for his chemistry midterms because his professor doesn’t know how to teach and thinks testing is the only way people can learn. Thus Mark studies a lot in the library and everyone knows that the chairs NYU provides are the farthest from comfort.
  3. Mark plays Animal Crossing a lot and doesn’t have great posture — not even his gaming chair can save him.



After looking through his Twitter account and panicking for another 15 minutes, Mark finally goes for it and Tweets:

**Spider-Man** @spiderd0rk · 52s

I want a boyfriend

(Mark ends up knocking out immediately after finishing this torturous ordeal — he made the grave mistake of mistaking beer for grape juice when he grabbed a can from his mini-fridge; and Mark’s never been a great drinker.)

(Unfortunately, he wakes up ten hours later with zero interactions on his Tweet. Unaffected, he simply shrugs it off and continues on with his day.

Mark’s more concerned with the fact that he’s running late to his education politics course on exam day than the fact that he’s still very much single.)

2.

 **Spider-Man** @spiderd0rk · 5min

I want a boyfriend

The second time Mark tweets that he wants a boyfriend – now that Taeyong finally gets Mark’s account verified with a slightly less clapped layout – he’s not quite sure what to expect.

But his expectations remain rather low.

Imagine going on Twitter and seeing on your timeline that everyone’s favorite Spidey is looking for a boyfriend. 

_Spider-Man?_ He can imagine people reading. _Spider-Man can save the world and stop crime on a daily? But he can’t get a boyfriend? There must be something bad about Spider-Man then because most would jump at the opportunity to climb a superhero like a tree. Perhaps he has bad breath? Or maybe he’s a dick._

Okay, Mark admits. Maybe they wouldn’t automatically “assume” that he was sexy but come on. Wouldn’t it be weird to know that Spider-Man _Spider-Man_ is painfully single and has been painfully single since his aunt gave him permission to start dating at the age of 14?

That’s a big-ass warning sign if Mark’s never seen one before.

Even the Statue of Liberty would turn her head in shame if she ever saw the mess that is Mark Lee. Age 23. Korean American. Third-year chemistry major at NYU. Your local web-slinging mess.

And today is Tuesday.

Tuesday.

No one can ever tell how Twitter on Tuesdays is going to go other than another weird viral trend going around the timeline or just an overflow of cat pictures. Mark would have found all of the cat pictures adorable and cooed had it not been for the fact that he spent all of his spare time saving cats from trees and was rather done with the matter. 

Not that Mark didn’t care about cats. Don’t let his tone fool you. Mark’s phone is constantly bombarded with dozens of notifications of cats stuck in trees and all the notifications about more violent crimes are drowned down to the point he had to use KakaoTalk exclusively for fighting against Green Goblin. Green Goblin almost convinced Mark to get WeChat instead because of the cute stickers, but Mark got locked out of his account and had to settle for KakaoTalk instead.

Mark’s heart drops when he gets tagged to save the psychology department’s cat mascot.

Sadly his I want a Boyfriend tweet gets zero interactions and gets buried in the timeline.

3.

Mark stares at his phone in shock and he can hear the angels caroling from the heavens.

It’s finally happened.

_I Want A Boyfriend RT Bot retweeted._

**Spider-Man** @spiderd0rk · 5 min ago

The I Want A Boyfriend RT Bot finally noticed him. It finally noticed him. 

Maybe someone will reply with a cute gif volunteering to be his…Mark, pull yourself together, he chastises. The I Want A Boyfriend Bot can’t perform miracles. You have to put in some effort too. 

So he replies to his Tweet to get it more exposure with: 

Two seconds later, Mark gets a notification and he almost jumps out of his seat — well ledge. He was taking a small break from saving the world to eat a Krispy Crème donut.

All he sees is that someone quoted him on their private account.

Mark really can’t win today, can he?

4.

**Taeyong:**

stop being dramatic

**Mark:**

wdym?

**Taeyong:**

i can hear u moping about the lack of said boyfriend all the way from my apartment and u know i made it soundproof

**Mark:**

Bye

**Taeyong:**

u know im right *wink emoji*

Mark sighs.

Taeyong is right — but it’s not like he’ll ever let Taeyong know he is. Mark would rather let his professor know he mis-graded his physics midterm and gave him a couple of extra points that pushed him into passing score. 

(Don’t blame Mark for not being honest about his grade. Blame the capitalist system that skyrocketed American university tuition. Mark couldn’t afford to fail the second course in this physics sequence. [Not if he wanted to repeat a year and delay his graduation.])

_I Want A Boyfriend RT Bot retweeted._

_I Want A Girlfriend RT Bot retweeted._

**Spider-Man** @spiderd0rk · 3 days ago

On the bright side, even the I Want a Girlfriend Bot wants Mark to get a boyfriend.

5.

“Why are you on your phone Spidey?” Black Cat asks, peering over Mark’s shoulder. “Shouldn’t you be—” he pauses, looking around the vicinity of the rooftop and turning off his matching cat-shaped pager; got to keep up with the theme Mark supposes. “Shouldn’t you be helping Captain America save the world again? I don’t think a crashing meteorite is the kind of thing that will wait for you to get off Twitter.”

Black Cat takes a seat next to Mark on the ledge of the building, looking rather unaffected by their impending death. He takes out a bag of sweet potato chips and offers some to Mark. Mark shakes his head and Black Cat starts munching on them, the same bord gaze setting.

Mark isn’t surprised by his ally’s nonchalance. Black Cat always finds a way to save himself from any danger.

It’s a fact of life.

When they were both fighting against Hydro-Man, the villain thrust an extremely fast burst of water in their direction, an attack that could easily kill a civilian.

The result:

Hydro-Man getting arrested and Mark coming back to his apartment with a broken arm that put him out of commission for an entire week. 

And when Mark was stuck in his room healing and emailing his professor that he needed an extension on his 5-page paper because he broke his arm, Black Cat kept Tweeting about all of the restaurants he ate out at and even went out to California for a Comic-Con convention to talk about his responsibilities as a hero in New York compared to San Diego where he moved from. All expenses paid for courtesy of Kakao Co. 

How Black Cat is that lucky Mark doesn’t know. Aren’t black cats supposed to be a universal symbol of bad luck?

Perhaps Black Cat saved an entire country in his past life and is now blessed with all of the luck that can be found in a mason jar full of four-leafed clovers?

“Hmm…” Black Cat continues observing Mark’s phone. “Are you perhaps…”

Please don’t say it.

 _Please don’t say it_.

“Oh you’re on I want a boyfriend Twitter.” 

Black Cat lands the final blow and Mark can feel himself falling off the ledge— good thing Black Cat has great reflexes and is able to pull him back up before Mark falls to his sad and very much still single death.

“Geez, I just pointed out you were on I want a boyfriend Twitter not that you cheated on your exam and had to repent.”

The wind blows and Black Cat doesn’t receive a response.

“Okay. Fine. We will not discuss the ethics of cheating on university exams. I would have done the same thing if I were you. I mean do people really expect superheroes to find time to study, get straight As all while trying to juggle the whole fighting against evil without getting paid at all?”

“Oh, you’re right.” Mark feels the guilt of cheating on his exam lesson, but—

“But don’t think I forgot about you being on I want a boyfriend Twitter,” Black Cat sings songs, and Mark’s heart sinks once again in embarrassment. Now Black Cat is definitely going to think he’s a loser too. Mark’s seen his indirects. People can be mean. Okay?

“I certainly don’t think you’re a loser and yes you just said that out loud.” Mark winces and his only saving grace is that he’s wearing his mask right now to hide how red his face is right now. “Although you always seem to be thinking very loudly. Hmm…I can definitely see why Iron Man complains about you all the time.”

Now Mark feels one of those giant weights fall on his head right now. 

Someone please…anyone…please save him from combusting into flames. Maybe the meteorite will grant him a mercy death?

“But don’t worry about being single too much. You’re going to find somebody someday. These types of things take time. And just because everyone around you seems to be perfect kdrama-Esque relationships doesn’t mean they are. Not everyone is as happy as they seem online.” Black Cat smiles and uses this as the opportunity to slide off Mark’s mask.

“Hey,” he tilts his head, carefully studying Mark’s face. The smile on Black Cat’s face returns and it’s a smile that makes Mark turn even redder. “You’re actually really cute underneath all of this spandex. What do you say about you and me going to Burger King after this? I have these two for $7 special whopper coupons I’ve been meaning to use but I never found the time to go. Obviously, after we stop this meteorite from burning down New York City?” Black Cat winks.

Mark can feel the blush continue creeping upon his face.

They do end up going to Burger King, but Black Cat still refuses to show his face, saying that his face reveal will be a surprise for much later.

(Mark doesn’t mind one bit.

That implies that there are more dates to come. And maybe a Studio Ghibli movie marathon too if he’s lucky enough for Black Cat to be a Studio Ghibli fan.)

((Turns out that Mark is a very lucky man after all.))

+1

“Hyuckie,” Mark whines. “Come cuddle with me. I’m cold.”

“I should have known you were needy,” Donghyuck sighs, but he still comes to the strawberry-shaped couch he and Mark bought the other day and latches onto his boyfriend. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you out to Burger King if I knew what you were really like,” he teases and presses a kiss on Mark’s nose before there’s more whining.

“But you really like me don’t you?”

Donghyuck sighs again. 

“Of course I do.”

+2

**Spider-Man on a Web Picnic? Who’s the cat boy who managed to web his way into our local Spidey’s heart?**

_Stay tuned to find out._

+3

**Next Up: Green Goblin retiring? Former super-villain Green Goblin just announced that he would give up fighting good in his spare time to focus on his studies.**

**Author's Note:**

> Find me here:  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/_ourloveispink)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/hoelistic98)


End file.
